If you’re complaining about your life. You need to look at what you’re doing.
This is the words I tell myself if I complain. And then I follow with 2 question:
- What’s my 1st biggest problem now
- What can I do
And the I take action and make change with no more excuses. This is how I keep momentum charged and make the action ball rolling.
Reason that most of us don’t want to change is because we’re afraid of somebody else opinion and the fear of losing our faces.
And complaining is the easiest way that makes us feel like we’re doing something about the problem.
For me, losing the face was my biggest fear. I struggled a lot when I need to make change.
How to talk to people that you dislike? How to communicate with colleagues who likes to confront you? How to report to boss that don’t really know what you’re working on but still want to pretend that he knows more than you and want to educate you about the project you’ve been doing for 17 months?
People like to criticize so that they look good. Meaning at the same time, somebody else look bad…because they lose their faces when criticized, confronted and all that.
Let’s talk about losing faces.
There’s a time when criticisms pointed to the female cast in a Chinese drama, said that it’s extremely inappropriate to show that much of her cleavage. In the end the director asked his tech team to modify the cleavage part in the video and make it less obvious.
What’s the point? We can tell that there’s a gap in thoughts between people who watch it and people who shot the video. The attitudes are different. The presumptions are different.
There are several thoughts that we used to see them as taboo now became something ordinary and acceptable.
For instance, in Chinese we used to think it’s only ethical when widow stays widow forever. Those who remained widow all their lives will be honored and given a plate with “loyalty” written words on it. That earned those people “faces”. How honored is that. The whole village will shoot fireworks celebrating the widow!
What does the plate mean?
It’s a dying life. It’s a self-suppressing process. It’s a handcuff to a live human being who can’t be herself for the rest of her life.
And the test in school. What’s the difference between 1st prize and the last prize?
They are both one of rankings. Parents like to say that heir kid got the 1 st prize in class. Which parents like to say that their kid had the last prize?
The reality is there will be a last prize if there’s the first prize.
What’s the life like for people who got the last prize? They lived in the life having no faces.
So “faces” is one and another handcuffs that we keep putting on.
There’s no gimmick if you want to live more comfortably—-let go of the “faces”. Take the handcuff down.
Cuz you know what, this is your life. YOU decide what kind of life do you want to live. We’re often told to behave in a certain way, chasing certain success.
What’s the definition of success? —The question really should be, what is it that you do that’ll make you happy and fulfilled?
I’m grateful that I built an online business that allows me to enjoy such happiness. I truly hope that most of people in this world can live the life they desire. Having been through the transition of changing my life, from a obedient girl listened to what society told her to do into a independent girl living the life she desire. Please allow me to be the drive to empower you courageously moving towards your dream goals
You only live once, and this life is too short to be someone else.