I had dinner with few of my good friends tonight. Three of them encountered difficult situations at work and they want to know if there’s any helpful tips they can refer. That reminded me of my previous difficult experience at work, fell into deep miserable black hole and how I overcame. I want to share some useful tips that I learnt the hard way, hoping you can avoid from suffering.
How do you feel when asked to change? It could be an invisible force in the office, that should be more “fit-in” in terms of doing what most people will do. For instances, don’t work too seriously, slack off from time to time, meet the minimum requirements of tasks, please those positioned in higher levels and discriminate those in lower levels and all that.
You’re struggling whether to change. If you change, then everything at work will go more smoothly. But If you change, you’re not you anymore. You’ll lose the authentic, hard-working, responsible you and destroy the principles you’ve been having for years.
If you resonant with the struggles, you’re absolutely not alone. I was there before. Back then, I not only struggled, I was harsh on myself. I criticize myself hard in terms of telling myself that I wasn’t good enough, not doing things right, etc. To the degree of harming my mental health as well as physical condition. I couldn’t sleep well. I tripped myself while walking(yup that serious.)
I clearly noticed that if I didn’t solve the problem, things would become so bad that I might not have chance to recover. So I started to search books, educational videos, articles written by professional therapists and such, trying to solve the problem.
To tell you the truth, the process was painful, but it’s definitely WORTH TO DO. I won’t have such fulfilled and happy life now if I didn’t be strict to myself and changed.
As Jim Rohn said, “Your life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change.”
Change is always uncomfortable, but that’s where growth happens. It’s ok to be scared because that means you’re going to do something brave.
I love what Jack Canfield said,
“The biggest rewards in life are found outside your comfort zone. Live with it. Fear and risk are prerequisites if you want to enjoy a life of success and adventure.”
Having been through the life-changing process, I strongly recommend you to become comfortable with uncomfortable. Because that’s where magic happens in your life. Don’t forget what an amazing human being you are. Never forget how many achievements you’ve accomplished. Nobody can do what you did. You are special and there’s no need to change yourself.
Here’s the challenge, “be yourself.” is what most people often continued to say. Would you go on and say that too?
I hope not.
For me, that’s like a lazy platitude masquerading as wisdom. I’m not going to say be yourself and then end of the conversation.
I’m going to say it’s the first step to recognize that, then you make the next change you want yourself to. Be aware of who you truly are and then be you while having compassion for others.
Notice the first thing is to have self-awareness and get along with yourself. Knowing who you are so that you’re comfortable of being you, talking like you, behaving like you. And that’s when you, from your deep heart, know that there’s no need to change yourself for the sake of pleasing others.
Don’t become the people you hate.
I’m sure you have people around you who used to say how deep they hated those who keep brown-nosing their bosses, and after few years, they became one of brown-nosers. Don’t lose your precious identity.
Remember, never change yourself for others for the sake of pleasing them. Only change yourself for yourself. Asking yourself to change it’s not forcing you to be somebody else. It’s reinforcing how to be the authentic you while having compassion for others. So that you can build and achieve a happy and fulfilled life with no regrets.
Have you faced difficult situation that made you need to change yourself? Looking forward to hearing from you:)